We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize