I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You're completely useless in the revolution.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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