Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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