we have officially lost it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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