matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize