If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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