Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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