My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize