I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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