im gay
i know
yea but for you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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