just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
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