He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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