oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize