just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize