So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize