Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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