Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize