her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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