people are starting to question the shark bite story
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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