i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
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he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
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He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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