I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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