Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
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Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
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My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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