her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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