im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize