i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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