This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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