my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
it glows. i had to have it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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