the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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