Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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