when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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