I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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