it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize