Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize