Screwed.edu
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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