she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize