Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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