You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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