That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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