Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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