so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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