we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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