Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize