guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
last night I used snow as a chaser
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