i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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