What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
do herpes really smell.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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