Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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