No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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