you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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