Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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