belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
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It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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